SoundBytes.
"Funny" Sound Bites, Amusing Audio Clips

Dave and Kev - Honest Builders

11th April 2003

Introducing a new, original series of sketches from 2atoms.com. These are all rough ideas. Inspiration for these two came from, well virtually every builder ever! I don't know if builders from other countries have the same reputation as they do here in Britain so these stereotypes may not hold true for you.

Dave and Kev Trial Sketch #7  (MP3 / 613K),
Dave and Kev Trial Sketch #8  (MP3 / 708K),
Dave and Kev Trial Sketch #9  (MP3 / 459K).

[ Full List of Dave and Kev Trial Sketches ]

Boat Mime and Magic Man

8th April 2003

A couple of fake ads for a Blue Man Group gig:

Boat Mime (Shockwave format / 63K),
Magic Man (Shockwave format / 61K).

The New Lesbian and Gay Channel

21st March 2003

Ned calls up the TV Station about "this here new lesbian and gay channel." WARNING - EXPLICIT!  (Windows Media Audio / 1.5 MB).

Saddam Hussein - Thou Shalt Not Kill

21st March 2003

Saddam Hussein Song - This will stun you. You have been warned. Apparently a genuine song written after the first Gulf war. We know nothing of the author.  (MP3 / 886K).

Dungeons and Dragons

21st March 2003

The Truth About Role Playing Games - Parents beware! This could be happening to your child right now!  (MP3 / 823K).

Bogus Airport Announcements

21st March 2003

A golden oldie this lot. 2 blokes dressed up as chaffeurs and gave bogus names of people they were looking for at Heathrow information desk. They got away with 5 announcements there, but for the last one they had to move on Gatwick, as the airport security had realised what was going on.

Bogus Name They Gave	What Was Read Out (MP3)
Arheddis Varkenjaab and Aywellbe Fayed	I hate this f*cking job, and I will be fired
Arhevbin Fayed and Bybeiev Rhibodie	I‘ve just been fired, and bye-bye everybody
Aynayda Pizaqvick and Malexa Kriest	I need a piss quick, and my legs are crossed
Awul Dasfilshabeda and Nowaynayda Zheet	Oo-ah, that feels better and now I need a sh*t
Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DeBahzted	My colleague just farted, and left the room, the b*stard
Steelaygot Maowenbach and Tuka Piziniztee	Still, I got my own back and took a piss in his tea

Chikity-China The Chinese Chicken

18th January 2003

Chikity China - Not too sure where this is from, but it's basically some bloke calling up Chinese restaurants and asking for, well, Chikity China the Chinese Chicken (MP3 / 900K).

Crazy Drunk Guy

27th January 2003

This site is now about 4 years old but still tickles the old comedic g-spot. It chronicles in audio alone, the story of a bloke who, quite out of the blue, started receiving phone calls from some crazy drunk guy and just decided to tape them for fun. The site is still up so I cannot include the audio files here, I'll just give you a link: Crazy Drunk Guy (external link / opens new window).

The Margaret Chronicles Part 1

27th January 2003

Margaret Chronicles - " You should never have left me alone. Margaret."  (MP3 / 345K). This file (c) A. C 2001, recorded for Insomnia.

Stevens and Cox Can I Help You?

27th January 2003

Stevens and Cox - Ever got absolutely nowhere with a phone conversation and wanted to wring the fecking life out of the idiot on the other end of the line? Of course you have. We have too.  (MP3 / 175K). This file (c) A. C 2001, recorded for Insomnia.

Heard any crazy audio stuff you want to share with the world? Let us know.

[ Comedy ]

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